In relationships, it’s easy to fall into patterns that might be doing more harm than good. These habits can often lead to our partners taking us for granted.
Taking someone for granted is when they undervalue your worth or underestimate the importance of your role in their life. And let’s face it, no one wants that.
To prevent this, there are certain habits that we need to kick to the curb.
Let’s get started.
1) Always being available
In every relationship, it’s natural to want to be there for your partner. But what happens when “being there” turns into “always being available”?
Being too available can inadvertently create a sense of expectation and entitlement in your partner. This might lead them to take your time, and you, for granted.
It’s important to maintain a healthy balance between being there for your partner and having time for yourself. This not only ensures you have time for personal growth but also helps your partner value the time you spend together more.
It’s perfectly okay to say no sometimes. Your time is valuable, and it’s crucial that your partner understands this too.
2) Ignoring your own needs
There was a time in my own relationship when I found myself constantly prioritizing my partner’s needs and wants over my own. I thought it was the ‘right’ thing to do, the ‘selfless’ thing.
But over time, I realized that this habit was causing my partner to take me for granted. They were so used to me always putting them first, that they no longer saw it as something special or appreciated it as much.
I had to learn to say no, prioritize my own needs, and ensure that I was taken care of too. It was tough at first, but it made a huge difference in how my partner started treating me.
3) Over-apologizing
Apologies are important in a relationship, especially when you’ve made a mistake. But overly apologizing, especially for things that don’t warrant an apology, can lead to your partner taking you for granted.
In Japan, the culture of apology is so ingrained that they have many different words for ‘sorry’, each conveying a different level of remorse. But even there, over-apologizing can be seen as a sign of weakness.
When you apologize excessively, it can diminish your value in your partner’s eyes. It’s crucial to understand when an apology is necessary and when it’s not. So, let’s bid farewell to over-apologizing and say hello to asserting our worth.
4) Not setting boundaries
Boundaries are essential in every relationship. They define what’s acceptable behavior and what’s not. When we don’t set clear boundaries, we’re essentially giving our partner a free pass to treat us however they want.
Setting boundaries might seem daunting at first. You might worry about how your partner will react or if it will cause conflict. But remember, boundaries are not about controlling the other person, they’re about respecting each other’s individuality.
Not setting boundaries can lead your partner to take you for granted.
5) Avoiding conflicts
It might seem counterintuitive, but avoiding conflicts can actually lead your partner to take you for granted.
When we constantly avoid conflicts, we’re often suppressing our feelings and needs to keep the peace. But this can lead our partners to believe that we’re always okay with everything, even when we’re not.
Conflicts, when managed healthily, can be a catalyst for growth and understanding in a relationship. It’s not about winning or losing, but about understanding each other better.
6) Neglecting self-love
In the journey of loving someone else, we often forget to love ourselves. We put so much energy into making our partner feel valued that we forget our own worth.
Self-love is the foundation of a healthy relationship. When we neglect self-love, we allow our partners to define our value. This can often lead to them taking us for granted.
Loving and valuing yourself sets the tone for how your partner should treat you.
7) Accepting less than you deserve
I’ve been there, settling for crumbs when I deserved the whole cake. I let my fear of losing my partner overshadow my worth. This led to them taking me for granted because they knew I would accept less.
The truth is, you deserve someone who values and respects you. When we accept less than we deserve, it gives our partner the impression that it’s okay to treat us poorly.
It’s time we say goodbye to accepting less and hello to acknowledging our worth. You deserve a partner who treats you with the love, respect, and care you’re worthy of.
8) Being overly independent
While independence is a virtue and necessary for personal growth, being overly independent can sometimes backfire in relationships.
When we’re extremely self-reliant, our partners may feel like they don’t have a significant role to play in our lives. This can lead them to take us for granted since they might feel we don’t need them.
Balance is key. It’s essential to demonstrate that while you can stand on your own two feet, you still value and appreciate the support of your partner.
9) Not expressing appreciation
Expressing appreciation for your partner is critical in any relationship. When we fail to appreciate the little things, our partners can feel undervalued and unappreciated, leading them to take us for granted.
Appreciation doesn’t have to be grand gestures. It can be as simple as thanking them for their support or acknowledging their efforts to make you happy.
Everyone wants to feel valued. Let’s say goodbye to not expressing appreciation and hello to making our partners feel valued and cherished.
10) Failing to communicate
At the end of the day, communication is key. Without it, misunderstandings arise, needs go unmet, and partners can easily take each other for granted.
When we don’t communicate our feelings, needs, and expectations, we’re essentially leaving our partners to guess what we want. And let’s face it, they’re not mind readers.
Start speaking your mind and heart out. Because clear communication is the bedrock of a relationship where both partners feel valued and appreciated.
Final thoughts: It’s all about respect
At the heart of every relationship is a simple, yet powerful concept – respect.
Renowned relationship expert, John Gottman, found that couples who respect each other are more likely to have a successful and fulfilling relationship. This respect fosters a sense of security and appreciation, reducing the likelihood of being taken for granted.
Each of these habits we’ve discussed ties back to this fundamental notion. Whether it’s setting boundaries, appreciating your partner, or maintaining healthy communication, it all boils down to respect.
Making these changes might not be easy, but they’re worth it. Because you deserve to be treated with respect and not taken for granted. Relationships are a two-way street, and it’s time to ensure that both lanes are equally valued.
As you embark on this journey of change, remember that the goal isn’t just about not being taken for granted. It’s about building a relationship where both partners feel valued, respected, and loved. And that’s a journey worth undertaking.
